It's like a temple or something...

So I was standing in the middle of Barnes and Noble with a friend, clutching my tall unsweetened Tazo Passion iced tea, and had a surreal moment. Frank Sinatra playing on the in-store music system, the dark woods, the club chairs, the artfully arranged displays: all of them were calculated to inspire me to purchase something that Booklist had labeled "a breath-taking tour de force" or Publisher's Weekly considered to be a "sexy page-turner." I was having a Carefully Constructed Corporate Experience.

I am so oppressed by the mountain of STUFF in my life. I look around my home and it just depresses me...everywhere I turn my head, my eye falls on THINGS that I am responsible for. I must clean them, maintain them, dust them, organize them, preserve them, insure them, protect them, put them away after other people use them. THINGS. Things have taken over my life. I want them gone. But yet I love them. I feel so ungrateful...I should feel lucky to have all this crap, and instead I just resent it for taking over my life. I have to deal with my THINGS, and my relationship with STUFF.

**isn't this post ridiculously naive? like I don't know this stuff already...it just seemed really intense today

Pay Attention During Communion, or, How to Look Like a Retard at Church

So, we have this young, hip assistant priest at my church. He got a new, shorter haircut recently, and during communion I noticed that he has elf ears. My mind began to drift, wondering if he really was an elf, living in anonymity amongst us human folk. Perhaps he'd been exiled from Underhill, or he was in hiding. At this point I realized:

1. I read way too much fantasy fiction, and
2. He had offered me the wine twice while I was daydreaming.

Ouch!

Dangerous Flowers, Kitties, and TV Sets

So, this Sexy Alien Flower is blooming on a trellis in one of my flower beds. I wasn't sure what it was, but my mom thinks it's a Passionflower. It looks like it might eat you if you turned your back on it. The little tendrils on those vines just whip out and curl around anything nearby...including the ash tree above and my hydrangea. I keep having to free them and put it back on the trellis. No no, bad plant!

Speaking of bad...Bad Karma finally turned up. My husband's cat is a unique creature, never shy about scratching the hand that feeds her. She was missing for several days, and I was starting to hope that she'd fulfilled her purpose here and moved on, but she turned up this morning. I'd even gone so far as to cross "kitty litter" off my shopping list, too. Oh well.

C and I are decluttering, in an effort to save our marriage. We took a huge step this week, and removed the television from our bedroom. The dresser looks naked! This is going to be better for us as a family, I can already tell. (We put the TV in M's room, so he can watch it when he comes home for the summer.) C made progress in the garage and sold a table saw on Craigslist. I've been bagging up clothes and other items for our yard sale. R decided we can move all his Legos to the attic. We're on a roll!

then Job arose...

So, lately I've been very depressed. I don't think it was caused by any one particular thing, but I've reached some sort of crisis point. Last night I told my husband if we had one more crisis, I would have a nervous breakdown...I simply would not survive. I don't know if this is true or not...even when I think I'm on empty, I usually manage to squeak through somehow. But it was how I felt at the time.

It was a weird day; I felt as if I were drunk or underwater. I kept partially dozing off, kept feeling like I was about to cry or vomit or something. It got a little better after I went to bed. I've been neglecting my spiritual life lately, being sleep-deprived and all, but last night I had this random urge to read Job, which wound up suiting me very well indeed.

I know, I know, it sounds like I'm wallowing in misery. But consider the following:

1. Job is pure poetry...good poetry always improves my state of mind.
2. Job was definitely in worse shape than me...perspective always helps.
3. When you're sad, you don't want to read something happy...it will just annoy you. Reading something dark allows you to validate your feelings and begin to move through them.

I did feel sorry for Job's wife, though...SHE lost everything, as well, but HE was the one with the luxury of wallowing in the ash pit. No one came from Idumea to comfort HER! Typical guy.

I have fleas...

Yes, I do. Isn't that disgusting?

I know, you're thinking, "She means we have fleas, in the sense that her family has a problem with fleas on their pets." This is indeed true, but it's not what I meant.

I have fleas.

Once we realized the dogs had fleas, we treated them, but making the dogs inhospitable to fleas caused the fleas to migrate elsewhere. I was absent-mindedly scratching my head while rereading The Deed of Paksenarrion for the 800th time, and came away with a (living, struggling) flea trapped under my fingernail.

One hot shower and two thorough shampooings later, I am still suspicious of any little itch, imagining phantom tribes gamboling through my hair. Sheets! I will change the sheets. That should do it...

You're probably wondering how we could afford the flea medicine, after all my whining?

I'm glad you asked...I purchased a single application of Frontline for dogs 132 lbs and up on e-bay, from an enterprising businessperson who had clearly bought up boxes of it, separated them, and shipped them out with a glass vial, a syringe, and printed instructions on exactly how much to use for dogs of various weights. It was enough to treat all 3 of them, with enough left over for next month. It cost $24, including shipping.

Off to strip the bed!

The Predictable Vegan Food Post

...because I can. And because if I'm going to wash all those dishes, I want something more to show for it than a happy plate.



This is a Veganomicon recipe, and it's typical for Isa...a million steps and a huge pile of dishes. It was worth it, though. First you roast Anaheim peppers for the sauce, then make the lime & cumin saturated kale-potato-pumpkin seed filling, then assemble and bake. I cheated and added a little FYH Monterrey Jack. We had it with avocado, some yellow rice (I threw in some onion and green and red peppers while it was cooking), and spicy black beans. And Ziegenbock (thanks, Craig!)

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We've been working in the yard a lot lately, and the more time you spend outside, the more likely you are to notice things like Lizard Sex:



See, it took me four whole posts to do something inappropriate!

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On the Financial Front, I did my grocery shopping with cash and stayed on budget, managing to spend just under the planned amount for the week ($100). By virtue of avoiding almost all processed foods, cooking from scratch, and never eating out, I managed to once again provide my family with fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, organic milk/non GMO soymilk, and non-torture eggs (the milk and eggs are for The Boy).

Food and household goods are costing more and more. We aren't eating that much differently, but I have found myself changing some of my cooking habits in order to keep things the same, and each trip it seems like there's something I have to swap out or skip. The only real "snackfood" I buy is saltine crackers. Organic produce and Luna bars were the first things to go. Then Ross's lunchbox yogurt smoothies went from organic, to non-organic, to cups of store-brand yogurt instead (this week). I quit buying Morningstar Farms crumbles and switched to TVP. I've been making a lot of seitan, and experimenting with different veggie burger recipes instead of buying them. Making cookies instead of buying them. Making my own cereal (it's just muesli, but we really like it). Oh, and this week I went official on making my own bread...basic whole wheat is up to $2.25 a loaf. I need to get into a routine on the breadmaking, so we don't run out.

I have plans to make my own laundry soap, too. And we planted a garden (a garden that is apparently very romantic, if you're a lizard). Maybe I should entice Craig out there...