I got bronchitis!

...ain't nobody got time for dat! Ironically enough, I have been giggling over this "I got bronchitis!" video with my students for weeks, ever since we had that "duck and cover" disaster drill. I'm sure my current state is some sort of karmic retribution for laughing at this woman.


http://youtu.be/udS-OcNtSWo


 In cuter news, I took Nixie with me to pick up The Boy and she was shivering in our unusually chilly weather, so the purchase of a dog coat somehow became a moral imperative. At PetSmart she was insanely overstimulated, lunging around like the bad-mannered goblin-child she is. Coughing, disheveled, and exhausted, we emerged with the following:

Note how she looks off into the distance, blunting the shame of her defeat.

Compulsive Busy-ness

Busy, busy, busy days! I have two weeks off of work, and as usual, I seem to feel compelled to spend it catching up/getting ahead on household chores. But I'm done for the day, so it's time for a hot bath and some knitting.

The big news around here is that C and I are trying to get pregnant, without much success. We have wrestled with this decision for most of the years we've been together, and prayed and prayed about it, and finally it was right. I swear, I expected to get pregnant right then and there, as soon as we said the words, lol. But it hasn't happened as fast as I imagined...we need to get scientific about this.

Anyway, I have decided to "take control" by eating as if I was pregnant already - at least this way I can feel like I'm doing something. Vitamins...I should take vitamins, too.

Here is a random picture of some strange bugs my husband took, while he was working. I don't know what they're doing - mating? hanging out? Perhaps the big one is the little one's momma, or maybe it's fixing to eat the little one...anyway. For your viewing pleasure:

Snapshot Sunday

I am shamelessly lifting this from someone else's blog, who lifted it from someone else, etc. - just 5 random scenes from my house this Sunday.


Mice are dueling...


Bad guys are getting what's coming to them...


Laundry is drying...


Bread is rising...


And kitties are napping.

Not a bad day at all.

I Think I Found the Problem

This picture just seems to represent how I'm feeling these days. Head down in a toilet is not good, but if you've found the problem, perhaps it's a start.

I've been trying to reach out for some positive changes. I went to a 12-step meeting, which was a bit of an eye-opener. It was OA-HOW, though, and I don't know if that will be right for me. I'm cautiously optimistic, however. Also, C and I watched this movie at church, and it was really revealing, at least for me. We've been trying to work on our relationship. And, I think I feel healthier, mentally, when I spend part of my time in service to others, instead of all of my time obsessing about myself. I went up to my mom and dad's house this weekend and helped them assemble/install some garage storage - that was good. And since my only true skill seems to be organizing, I've also offered to help someone at church, who has some physical limitations, with some organizing.

I started reading Isaiah - I have been confused and disturbed by this book in the past, but this time is different...thoughts are just falling over one another to get written down in the margins!

I am grateful for:

1. C - when I got home yesterday, he had dropped off the recycling, made the bed, done his laundry (and R's), and the kitchen was not bad. Then when he got home, he mowed and edged, and helped in the garage. This was amazing and different.
2. The gift of summer school, and the stability it's giving to our finances.
3. Mom and dad living so close now.
4. Coffee
5. Pets
6. God

Resurrecting the Blog

I've been putting off a blog post because I don't have any fun new pictures to add, but this morning I was overcome with the urge to write. I suppose I can come back and add pictures later!

I'm really struggling with the dichotomy between the desires of my higher nature and my inner selfish, greedy lazy person. I want to clean with natural, safe cleaners, eliminate plastic, minimize my sugar intake, and eat a local, sustainable, natural diet. But I have a mold problem in my shower, and I love fast food and junk food, and when I'm rushed or panicked or overwhelmed, I will just start throwing things away. I love neatness and order, but I'm such a perfectionist that when I get overwhelmed I avoid certain areas in my house/life, and they descend into chaos. I will read my Bible every day for weeks, then avoid it for months. I am passionate about my faith, but uncomfortable and awkward when I pray.

What kind of person am I? I'm a frugal spendthrift, an organic junkfood-junkie, hard-working and idle.

It's hard to reconcile my ideals of they way I want to live with my finances and time limits, but that's not the real obstacle: it's me. As soon as I make a commitment, I start to feel caged by it. Maybe I'm some sort of addict, in that respect. I love these shows like "Intervention" and "Sober House," about people living with and trying to overcome their addictions. I feel an odd kinship with them. Dr. Drew once said that "addicts need rules because they need discipline." I think that describes me, too - if I am solely in charge of keeping myself on track, I will "give myself a pass" far too often, until all my commitments have been so broken as to become meaningless.

It feels weird putting all this out there on my blog, although I'm slightly comforted by the fact that no one reads it anway. Putting all these thoughts out there into the world feels like forcing honesty on myself. Maybe I'm doing my own intervention!

completely wasted day

I had a million things to do this Sunday...clothes to wash, soup to make, papers to grade...I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to get busy.

Then I did this:


(the husband, the son, the wildebeast, the park)

Then spent the afternoon doing this:


(note the baskets of unsorted laundry, including the one I'm using as a footstool)

And then I contemplated my gold velvet thrift store sofa...$95 well spent, I firmly believe:



Perhaps my new anti-depressant is working too well...

like Lazarus, my blog rises from the grave

A million things have happened since my last post...the thought of blogging them all is so overwhelming it makes me want to quit, but I'll try to hit the highlights:

M graduated from High School, and I went to his graduation up at his dad's in New Jersey. My mom, sister, and I spent the next day in New York, where I annoyed them by doing things like taking pictures of the "Soup Nazi."



I painted the laundry room green and colored my hair red (I have yet to take pictures of either).

M went to college, and leased his first apartment. I tried to teach him to drive a standard first, but we both forgave each other afterwards.



I started my new job, teaching 9th Grade English on a High School campus, where I've spent the last 3 weeks immersed in The Odyssey with my young scholars.



We had a hurricane (Ike) and lost power for 16 days, as well as a tree, a fence, and part of the garage ceiling; on a more positive note, we found two pieces of the "Half Price Books" sign in our yard.



I have a million things to write about but can't get any of them out at this exact moment, which is maddening.

More later!